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Eddie Adelman is a writer who lives in Belfast. His collection of columns and short essays is called “Don’t Get Me Started.”
Are you as perplexed as I am that the new year begins in January and not in September?
Without getting too deep into the weeds, that decision dates all the way back to the time of the Romans. And now, a couple of thousand years later, we’re still marking time the same way.
But when was the last time you saw someone driving around in a chariot or prancing around in a toga?
Times have changed — so why not change how we mark time? And I say let’s start by moving the New Year to the first of September.
Why September? Let me count the ways.
To start, beginnings usually follow the end of something. And since August feels like the end of summer, it only feels natural for September to mark the beginning of something new.
Among other things, that something new begins with the school year. In the words of the immortal Chuck Berry, “Up in the mornin’ and out to school.”
By the way, I wasn’t a big fan of going to school. It’s been more than 50 years since I sat in a classroom, and I still have nightmares that I’m unprepared for the chemistry test the next morning.
Full disclosure: I was the kid who raised his hand and asked, “How will this help me in later life?”
But as a kid, September also brought great joy. That was the month that Detroit rolled out its new car models. And I couldn’t get enough of it. New tail fins on the Coupe De Ville? Double head lights on the new Oldsmobile? Bucket seats in the new Mustang convertible? Oooh, baby.
The major networks still premiere most of their hit shows in the early fall when people are back to watching TV after spending much of their summer outdoors. The network refrain is, “See you in September.”
And, of course, September kicks off the most important season of all in America — football season. Tank tops give way to jackets as this annual ritual gets underway in high schools, colleges and the NFL. By Jan. 1, the season is either over or just winding down.
If you’re not convinced yet, let’s talk about New Year’s Eve. It’s an annual tradition that swarms of people gather in New York City’s Times Square. And they’re usually freezing their patooties off.
Think about how much more comfortable the revelers would be if New Year’s Eve fell on Aug. 31. T-shirts, shorts and flip-flops are a distinct possibility.
And one last reason. You know how you always spend January writing the date of the previous year on all your checks? Well, I predict that if we move the New Year to September — a time that actually feels like change — we can cut that disconnect in half. Maybe even lose it completely.
I know. Change is hard. But let’s face it. Other than being a new month, January is basically the beginning of nothing. Truth be told, it’s just the dead of winter.
Now, this proposal is not without its complications. If we move New Year’s to September, we should really do something about Labor Day. What if we pull a switcheroo, and move Labor Day to the first Monday in January?
This makes more sense anyway, because in the northern climes we tend to labor more in the winter, especially when we have to put on four layers of clothing to dig our cars out of 15 inches of snow just to get to work.
Of course, there will be a huge lobbying effort to derail this proposal by the powerful calendar industry. There’s a lot of money at stake due to the massive amount of calendars sold during the Christmas season.
Hey, I got it. What if we move Christmas to…? Uh, never mind.