The BDN Opinion section operates independently and does not set news policies or contribute to reporting or editing articles elsewhere in the newspaper or on bangordailynews.com.
Once again the season of giving thanks is upon us, and we reflect on those things that we are grateful for.
In the past, I have often used my column to single out something that I am thankful for, in the hopes that it may inspire you to take a deep breath and take a moment away from the chaos of our modern lives to contemplate the good around us.
Ten years ago, I reflected on the aftermath of a horrific car crash that almost killed me earlier in 2013. While it is a bit cliché for a person to say such an experience gives you a newfound respect for life, I learned that things like that are cliche for a reason. I’m proud of the fact that I’ve held on to that appreciation for life and the time I’ve been given ever since.
Four years ago, I gave thanks for being alive in a world that, despite its enormous problems, is “the greatest time to be alive for a human being in the history of this planet.” While it is not lost on me that since I wrote that column the world has suffered through a horrific global pandemic, increasing political strife and global economic uncertainty, I stand by the point I made then.
Last year, I gave thanks for people who disagree with me. Specifically, I was giving thanks that I have been able to build and maintain relationships with people who do not see the world in the ways that I do. My life is enriched by being exposed to people that are not like me, and I deeply value their presence in my life.
This year as I’ve considered the things that I am thankful for, I’ve been thinking about the creeping, stalking predator that is time. In 17 days I will be 43 years old, and while that still makes me younger than the average age of Mainers, lately I’ve been feeling pretty old.
The average male life expectancy in the United States is currently 76.1 years, meaning that I am already well beyond halfway through my life. Thirty-three years remaining on this Earth is a depressing thought, and it helps me understand why so many people go through a midlife crisis.
My oldest son is now a junior in high school, and he is in the middle of deciding what is next for him after he graduates. This summer, he got his driver’s license, and since that time my wife and I have barely seen him. Watching this transition in him has reminded me of my own time as a teenager, and to me it doesn’t feel like that was very long ago at all.
Neither my wife nor I are dealing with this particularly well. Looking at pictures of him from two years ago — still wearing braces and looking like a pre-teen — we are both struck by the lightning speed with which he turned from “little boy” into “young man.” This, more than anything, has been the thing that has left me feeling, for the first time in my life, old.
Yet despite this, I am not experiencing the typical midlife crisis. As a matter of fact, I would say that I’m probably happier and more satisfied and content than I’ve ever been, and this is actually due to the process of aging.
Getting older bestows upon us many gifts that we may not fully appreciate. Experience has taught me many things, including about my own youthful naivete. As I’ve learned more about the world, I’ve grown more curious and become hungrier to learn about it.
I’ve slowed down, and my tastes have matured. Now I have an appreciation for things I never realized even existed before. Small things bring me immense joy now, like the subtly brilliant performance by an actor in a movie, or the taste of flavors in a dish I never would have even eaten in my youth.
And best of all? As more time goes by, we learn more and gain even more perspective, meaning that 10 years from now I will feel even more thankful for the passage of time.
Age is not something to run away from or to fear. Some have said that time is a fire in which we burn, but I reject that notion and instead believe that while time will ultimately triumph against us all, it is a partner and friend rather than an enemy. And for that reason today, I am eternally thankful for that friend.
