It’s way-too-tempting to declare that the new Mean Girls movie is so fetch. Except that if high school toaster strudel heiress Gretchen Wieners can’t make “fetch” happen, then neither can a measly movie review.
So how about this: Mean Girls — an adaptation of the Tony-nominated 2018 Broadway musical — is a delightful confection that expands on the original comedy thanks to a modern-day POV and catchy numbers. Think of it like a great cover song remix with special guest Jon Hamm as the health teacher/coach.
Get in, loser, and enjoy the ride.
But first, send a big thank-you to screenwriter Tina Fey. Two decades ago, she picked up a nonfiction book called Queen Bees and Wannabes and turned it into one of the best films about high school girls ever. This was a golden feat at the time and continues to be a minor miracle considering that most turn-of the-Millennium teen comedies focused on the art of landing the love interest. (No offense to She’s All That et al.) This young heroine isn’t obsessed with romance; she just wants to fit in and ideally not eat lunch in a bathroom stall. That is, if she can stay true to herself.
All these years later, that message still resonates to painfully funny degrees.
Fey didn’t mess with the timeless story in her 2.0 version. Cady Heron (Angourie Rice from the recent Spider-Man trilogy) — her first name is pronounced like “Kaydee,” not “Caddy” — is an introverted math whiz who’s just moved with her mom (Jenna Fischer) from the Kenya savannah to suburban Chicago. Despite her time in the wilds, she’s ill-prepared for the untamed behavior of her fellow students. Welcome to the jungle!
First Cady befriends snarky outsiders Janis (Moana actress Auli’i Cravalho) and Damian (Tony-nominated actor Jaquel Spivey). Then, unexpectedly, she’s invited to sit at the table of popular girls named “The Plastics.” As Janis puts it, they’re all hard, fake and shiny. Beeyotchy Regina George (Sex Lives of College Girls’ Renee Rapp) is the queen; insecure Gretchen (Bebe Wood) and dingbat Karen (Avantika Vandanapu) are her loyal princesses.
At the urging of Janis and Damian, Cady hangs with the group to shake things up from within.
The problems start when Cady crushes on hunky Aaron Samuels (The Summer I Turned Pretty’s Christopher Briney), who happens to be Regina’s ex. This development, along with Cady’s burgeoning popularity, pits Cady against Regina. The curious surfacing of a tell-all “Burn Book” ultimately lights the match.
Much of the above dialogue and plot unfold via original songs composed by Fey’s husband, Jeff Richmond. (Nell Benjamin supplied the lyrics.) They’re all jaunty fun on a visual level, not unlike the candy-colored performances in Barbie. The numbers also help move the surprisingly tight narrative along as opposed to bogging it down. (Um, that may or may not be a knock against Wonka.) If anyone deserves a dramatic entrance, it’s Regina with her rendition of “Meet the Plastics.” The main players all get the chance to vent in “Revenge Party.” A personal favorite: Janis and Damian’s “Apex Predator.” Guess who that describes.
Though it takes a beat to adjust to relative newcomers in these iconic roles — the petite Rice bears little resemblance to Lindsay Lohan in the Cady role — they do deliver. Surely it helps that Rapp steps into Regina’s designer clothes for the second time after portraying the character on Broadway. Upon realizing that Cady has been feeding her calorie-laden bars, she lets out a shriek like someone trained to reach the nosebleed section of the theater. (One quibble: This Regina is not quite as prickly as Rachel McAdams’ characterization.) Two originals return, too, with Fey reprising her role as Ms. Norbury and Tim Meadows doing the same as Principal Duval. He’s still sublime as he uncorks those dry one-liners. Let this poor man retire already!
Maybe the true beauty of the Mean Girls franchise is that it brings the web of teen emotions to life … just with, you know, snappier one-liners and more attractive people. Only the technology has changed since 2004. Truth: The original film was released back when Mark Zuckerberg was still tinkering with his software at Harvard. Now all the OMG moments generate rabid Instagram and TikTok views, which amplifies the angst and cringe. Smart.
We’re knee-deep in January as well as Important Movie awards season. Maybe Mean Girls should have been released on October 3 — the date that Aaron asks Cady in class what day it is, obvs — but at least all have a ray of sunshine amid the heavy winter doldrums. If that’s not fetch, it’s most certainly fab.
Mean Girls opens in theaters on Friday, January 12.
