The BDN Editorial Board operates independently from the newsroom, and does not set policies or contribute to reporting or editing articles elsewhere in the newspaper or on bangordailynews.com.
There is much we still do not know about the tragic death of Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old student in Oklahoma. We don’t know their cause of death, though we know they died on Feb. 8, the day after they were involved in a physical altercation with other students in a girls’ bathroom at their high school.
There also seems to be a question of how they identified, with their family saying Nex didn’t see themselves as male or female, and close friends and classmates saying they identified as trans and preferred he/him pronouns but also used they/them.
As we wait for more answers about their death, including from the independent investigation being launched by their family, we still know some things about their life.
We know their sister described them as a “wonderful child that impacted all of us in ways that are difficult to truly articulate in their importance.” We know that a friend described them as “someone who was never afraid to be who they are.”
We also know they were bullied by some for being who they are. And we know that this kind of bullying could sadly happen anywhere, even in Maine.
“This horrible incident in Oklahoma is complex and there’s still so much mystery around what happened, but we know Nex was likely bullied in school,” Gia Drew, executive director of EqualityMaine, said in a Feb. 27 Bangor Daily News story. “It’s sad, but it could be here. It could absolutely be here.”
We know that LGBQ+ youth “consistently report higher rates of bullying, being threatened or injured with a weapon, and dating violence” and “are also more likely to miss school because of safety concerns,” according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevent ion.
And we know that these young Americans are also being bullied by elected leaders. State laws passed in Republican-controlled legislatures across the country, like Oklahoma, are only further marginalizing these kids by prohibiting them from accessing medical care that can help them, participating in athletics and using restrooms that correspond to their identity.
Advocates, family and LGBTQ+ youth themselves have repeatedly explained how these policies hurt a group of young people who already face challenges as they just try to be themselves. And yet, some lawmakers and governors continue to pursue these hateful, harmful steps. It leaves us with the conclusion that some of the biggest bullies aren’t in high schools, they are in state capitols. And as advocates in Maine told the BDN this week, it is often adults who are making transgender students less safe.
Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt, a Republican who has signed several bills into law limiting the rights of trans Oklahomans, mentioned bullies in a statement after Nex Benedict’s death.
“Sarah and I are saddened to learn of the death of Nex Benedict, and our hearts go out to Nex’s family, classmates, and the Owasso community,” he said, referencing his wife Sarah Stitt. “The death of any child in an Oklahoma school is a tragedy — and bullies must be held accountable. As we await the results of the investigation, I urge Owasso Police and Owasso Public Schools to be forthcoming and transparent with the public.”
But what about the political bullies? What about policies and laws that effectively bully trans and nonbinary youth? Where is the accountability for that?
There has been small but inconsistent accountability in the courts, with some of these restrictive state laws being struck down or paused by judges. But there also needs to be a shift in how we think about and treat each other.
Adults need to be able to keep things in perspective. They need to recognize that it’s not tragic when a student athlete finishes 11th instead of 10th in some competition because a state has the good sense to allow students to be included in a way that aligns with their gender identity. The real tragedies are when young people are excluded, when young people are made to feel less than, when young people are attacked, when young people die.
And Americans of all political leanings need to reject the hateful rhetoric seen from some Republican officials in Oklahoma following Nex Benedict’s death. State Sen. Tom Woods, for example, referred to LGBTQ+ people as “filth” at a recent forum (remarks that a Republican leader in the Oklahoma Senate called “reprehensible and inappropriate”).
“We are a religious state,” Woods said, as reported by the Tahlequah Daily Press. “We are going to fight it to keep that filth out of the state of Oklahoma because we are a Christian state — we are a moral state.”
Officials can try to shroud their bullying in a cloak of religion and political ideology, but it is still bullying. Those Wood referred to as “filth” are human beings. Attacking and demonizing them does not seem very moral to us.
Here in Maine, state lawmakers have thankfully rejected some of the anti-trans policies on display in Oklahoma and elsewhere. The morality of our state is not tethered to limiting the personal freedoms or denying the existence of others. What could be more Christian than wanting people to live? What could be more conservative than protecting personal liberties?
We want kids to live, to thrive as their happiest and most productive selves. We hope this is a perspective that everyone can share.
There is a lot we don’t know about Nex Benedict’s death. But we know the world was better with them in it. And we know that we want bullying to stop, whether it happens in a school bathroom or in legislative chambers.
