Rachel Leviss overcame one of the hardest years of her life — and now she’s ready to talk about how it changed her for the better.
Last year, Leviss, 29, hit rock bottom after her affair with Tom Sandoval — her Vanderpump Rules costar and longtime beau of friend Ariana Madix — came to light, making headlines across the country and painting her as the ultimate villain. But through hard work, Leviss says she’s moved on and has transformed her life for the better.
“The dark times were so dark, and it felt like there wasn’t a way out for the longest time. I [decided] I need[ed] to start making better decisions,” Leviss, who checked herself into a mental health facility for three months to focus on her well-being, exclusively tells Us Weekly. “It took time to integrate everything that I learned into my real life, but I feel like I’m finally now able to start living for me.”
After prioritizing her mental health, the “Rachel Goes Rogue” podcast host has made great strides in her personal life.
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“Although I’m still in therapy and make it a point to continue to work on myself,” she added. “There’s a newfound level of freedom — it’s an era of healing.”
Keep scrolling for Leviss first interview in a year:
How would you describe this new era of Rachel?
This era I would say is the era of freedom.
How do you feel free now?
I’m choosing to surround myself with people that lift me up as a person. That helps with my freedom in being my most authentic self. … I’ve done most of the healing work — although I’m still in therapy — and I still make it a point to continue to work on myself because it’s an ongoing process. But it’s stepping into the light in a newfound way because before I was still very hyper-vigilant about how other people thought of me. And now it is what it is and you can take it or leave it. If you aren’t vibing with it, that’s totally fine. But it is the ‘I’m gonna do me and you do you’ type of vibe.
What changes have you made to your life since the scandal?
I think the biggest is not living in L.A. anymore [and] not drinking anymore. That’s more of a promise to myself. I committed to a year of not drinking alcohol and I accomplished that and I’m just continuing going this route because I realized that I don’t need alcohol. Also surrounding myself with positive people. Those are the real life-changing lifestyle choices that I’ve made. And also, the activities that I participate in every day, like yoga, going for long walks, being out in nature, is huge for me. There’s a spirituality piece to that too. Before it was craving being in nature and now that I’ve stepped away from Hollywood, there’s this freeing feeling when I am able to immerse myself in nature and just breathe and appreciate everything that’s around me.
How has it been living in Arizona?
It was almost like I had to reach this unhealthy level of toxicity in order to make a change in my life. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to step out of that. I don’t think L.A. is all bad, but being in certain environments could bring out the worst in a person. So now when I go visit Santa Monica, I have new friends and there’s a common theme [such as] spirituality and not drinking. It’s a much healthier social circle that I’m in in L.A.
Have you been able to make new friends?
Building a social circle as an adult definitely has its challenges but it’s more rewarding now that I’m in my late 20s. I’m about to turn 30 and people that are around me also have been through things in life that have shaped them into the person that they are now. It’s this new level of authenticity. But I found my group in yoga and there’s just so much love there and it’s so easy to get along with everybody. [It’s] so drama-free and everyone has just been super welcoming.
This is how it should be like. It should be healthy friendships. It shouldn’t really be people tearing each other down in order to get power over one another. I feel like I was in that dynamic and that dysfunctional friend group for so long that that did feel normal to me. Now I have these new friends that have been friends for years and they have such a close connection. I’m like, ‘Dang, did I miss out on that type of friendship where it really does improve your quality of life?’ But I decided to join the show and I decided to put myself in that environment and I’m grateful for the lessons that I’ve learned along the way. Now I’m able to make friendships that can last a lifetime.
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Ever miss your old crew?
Of course I miss those friendships. I haven’t heard from anyone. I think the most heartbreaking part of all of it was feeling betrayed by my friends. I know how that sounds because I was somebody who betrayed a friend. But in my darkest times, I just thought that these were my true friends and they would love me no matter what and would want to hear me out. That just wasn’t the case.
It was heartbreaking realizing that the people I was surrounding myself with — a lot of them were quick to turn on me. I had to learn the hard way to completely cut off all communication to all of my friends … so that was a really difficult time. But I have been able to rekindle some of the friendships that I do value [with] the trusted people. Now we’ve come to this freedom [where] I don’t need to monitor what I’m saying anymore because it’s all out there. This is my new life and I really have nothing to hide.
Would you reconnect with Ariana?
I think we’re both moving on in our lives and I wish her continued success.
What have you learned from your time at a mental health treatment facility?
A huge reason why I started my podcast is because I did learn so much. I wanted to share that knowledge with other people. Because being in toxic relationships is such a relatable thing. I think we’ve all had some sort of situation where there’s power imbalances and you could lose yourself.
So figuring out what it was for me — and sharing that with other people — is a huge part of my life’s mission now. I’ve been able to do that with my podcast.
But what I’ve learned is that I have a tendency to put my significant other on a pedestal. I would look to them for advice. I would think that they’re all knowing and have my best interests [at heart], which wasn’t always the case. I would just have rose-colored glasses on and I was very naive. I learned the hard way to gain that knowledge and those boundaries. Now I’m very cautious [but] first of all, I’m prioritizing my female friendships. That was an area that I wasn’t [focusing on] before. And female friendships are so so important. Lifting each other up, rooting each other on and wanting everyone to be successful without feeling regret is huge.
How about returning to Vanderpump Rules?
It would take all-expenses paid therapy. I would need a therapist on call and therapy sessions after every single filming session! I just don’t know if I see a path forward because it’s not a healthy dynamic. I’m trying to protect my mental health and I’m trying to live an authentic life.
It was a hard thing to watch the show this past season and have them talk about me constantly. I was not there to defend myself and that was hard. That is another reason why I started the podcast so that I could have a voice. I’m able to impact people in a positive way through my podcast. So, in a way, I actually don’t need the show and I’m healthier without it. There’s other ways that I can pursue my soul’s purpose in life without the show. That was like a full circle chapter and it’s complete. I don’t see myself returning because there wouldn’t be anything positive coming from that.
What about reality TV in general?
I could see myself doing a competition show. I think that’s the extent of it. There’s something with anonymity and privacy that you don’t really appreciate until you lose that privacy. We can reassess in a few years and see what the next projects are.
What about The Valley?
I don’t live in the valley and I don’t have a family. That show is just intense. There’s a lot of drama.
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What is the biggest life lesson you could take away from Vanderpump Rules?
There’s a huge life lesson with external validation. It would make sense why someone who gets external validation finds themselves on a reality TV show. Ultimately you want to be seen and you want to be heard by others and you want to be valued.
So I think the biggest life lesson for me is to validate myself from within. I do have a tendency to over explain things because I hate it when there’s information out there that’s not true and it’s defamatory. Then I become defensive. But I’m also learning that people can think what they want and I can be a villain in somebody’s story and that’s not going to change who I am as a person. So being OK with being disliked. That was such a holdup for me for so long. I just wanted to be liked by everyone.
Are you ready to find love again?
I am open to dating now but I did take a year off. During that time I was like, ‘I am never dating again. I have no interest in men. I never see myself dating again.’ But I feel like I’ve reached a place in my life where I’m healed enough.
I am prioritizing different things going forward with dating. It’s important for me to be in a relationship eventually with somebody who has a healthy relationship with their family. Childhood is where you’re learning so much about the world and that’s structuring who you are as a person and I just think that that translates well into a functional adult. So just making sure that that person is healed — and looking for the red flags — I’ve worked a lot with my therapist to be able to recognize those red flags. Then making sure that I’m not like falling head over heels immediately with somebody right before getting to know them.
What are some of the green flags that you’re looking for in a partner?
Green flag is definitely someone with a healthy family. That’s the No. 1 priority on my list right now. Also someone who has a steady career and someone who has invested their time into their career and having a purpose with what they do in life. If that’s fueling their soul then that’s something that I find very attractive.
Someone who loves nature as much as I do, someone who’s kind of respectful and not a narcissist. If you are not a narcissist, that’s a green flag.
Is there anything from past relationships that you are on high alert with when you’re dating?
You get the ick very quickly when you are healing yourself.
I haven’t dated many people since he who shall not be named. It’s important to me to get to know a person privately before others are chiming in. I prefer to get to know somebody privately and make sure that this is actually a good candidate to be in a serious relationship with before going public.
That was a huge boundary for me and I made it clear to [the last man I dated] and unfortunately. he didn’t respect that. But I’m glad that I kinda made that decision early on before I got too attached because it was easier. It was still hard because at that time I really did want to be with him. But it’s a boundary and it’s complicating things. So it’s not working and it needs to end.
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What has the last year taught you?
I think the biggest life lesson for me is to validate myself from within.
Are there any misconceptions you want to clear up?
I want to remind people that I’m human and that we’re all going to make mistakes in life. The important part is how you handle it, how you grow from it and how you feel, so you don’t hurt other people.
That’s the best way for me to take accountability. I’ve been doing my best and I will continue on this journey of showing up for myself every day. That way I can show up for other people in the way they deserve to be treated.
What’s next?
I’d love to host a wellness retreat. It’s been in the back of my mind.
