A New York Post columnist came to Maine for a vacation getaway, but found the Pine Tree State a lackluster reprieve from the Big Apple.
Cindy Adams noted in her most recent piece Maine boasts plenty of seafood, fresh air, trees and cool temperature (not that you may have noticed recently). There’s certainly less trash and litter than on your average New York City block.
While that may be enough to impress many visitors who want nothing more than to unfold a lawn chair and open up a parasol down by the water in Old Orchard Beach, not so for Adams.
Particularly galling to those Big City sensibilities is the average Mainer’s penchant to throw on a flannel and L.L.Bean jeans year-round. (Perhaps flannel has gone out of style in Williamsburg since the early 2010s.) It seems even the more well-heeled communities — Kennebunkport, Ogunquit, Old Orchard Beach, Portland, Freeport — aren’t posh enough.
But, then, Adams’ taste appears to be more Broadway, New York City, than Broadway, Bangor.
Adams was quick to note Mainers are polite and friendly, but dispensed with those pleasantries faster than a cross-town cab, seeming to relish in making repeated slights about the physical appearance of many a Mainer (and perhaps more than a few other day trippers, Sunday drivers and weekend wayfarers).
“Locals whose behinds overlap the state of Texas all stuffed into shorts. Realtors could establish an entire campsite on the average ass,” she writes.
Even Maine’s dizzying array of craft beer, which draws sudseekers from across the country to this state, is apparently not up to snuff, with Adams noting, “Everybody does beer. They probably shower with it.”
From all appearances, Adams couldn’t beat her way down the Maine Turnpike and across the Piscataqua River Bridge back to “civilization” and leave behind “The Way Life Should Be” signs fast enough.
Maybe Oklahoma will be more to her liking.