RJ Heller is a journalist, essayist, photographer, author, an avid reader and an award-winning book critic who enjoys sailing, hiking and other outdoor pursuits. He lives in Starboard Cove.
The past few years have been challenging.
Because of the pandemic, life in some way has been altered for all of us. We are yet to know the long-term impact of a couple of “lost” years, but for students now graduating from high school and college the light is shining, and commencement ceremonies are once again taking place. Parents, friends, family and our future are again seated on green grass waiting for what comes next.
With these ceremonies come the commencement speeches — thoughtful words of encouragement from guest speakers and valedictorians. With these lost years tinged in apprehension for what tomorrow has in store, what would their messages be in this moment? What words of encouragement can be given, when much of the past three years has been about apprehension and bewilderment?
Looking online, I found my answer.
In May 2022, Elizabeth Bonker delivered a speech as the valedictorian of Rollins College in Florida. She did not utter a sound while a recording of her speech was played over the public address system, which by itself made her message to her peers even more impactful.
Since she was 15 months old, Bonker has not spoken a word. She is one of 31 million nonspeakers with autism. She was chosen by her fellow classmates to give the speech. That honor was helped along by text-to-speech software. Bonker delivered her speech on cue to the rapt attention of everyone.
She stood in sunlight at the podium. A smile would come and go, she would look down, then side to side, then upwards into the sky as she challenged her peers by asking them to serve others and embrace the power of sharing while being true to themselves. In her speech she also reflected on a hero for her and the school where she spent the last four years completing her degree.
Fred Rogers, better known as Mister Rogers, was a Rollins College graduate. The college recently unveiled a sculpture of him and continues his legacy of life lessons. Bonker told the graduates that when Rogers died, a handwritten note was found tucked away in his wallet. The note read: “Life is for service.” She then asked her classmates to tear a piece of paper from the day’s program and write those words down and tuck them away for safekeeping. “We are all called to serve, as an everyday act of humility, as a habit of mind,” said Bonker. “To see the worth in every person we serve.”
Bonker said she will dedicate her life to helping other nonspeaking autistic people to find their voices, and encouraged her fellow graduates to find ways to help serve others.
“God gave you a voice. Use it,” she told them. “And no, the irony of a nonspeaking autistic encouraging you to use your voice is not lost on me. Because if you can see the worth in me, then you can see the worth in everyone you meet.”
We all have something to say. For some, finding the words can be difficult. For others, the words come too fast or the thoughts are muddled or too slow, and then the moment is lost. The words we speak should be front and center every single day, and we should say them continually to ourselves and to others. Imagine if just a few people from that Rollins Class of 2022 put into action the words Bonker gave them. What could this world look like?
Words do matter. Whether they are spoken by mouth or by machine, words have consequences. They can spark humility and acceptance or hatred. Bonker’s words came from a loving place deep inside her, biding their time, waiting for the sunlight to return after a couple of years of darkness. Her teachers, parents and classmates all mentored her for that moment. And just like her, all graduates will take that next step, pushed along the path they choose by people who support and love who they are — every day.
Today is about all those graduates moving forward. Today is also about us helping when we can, how we can. For Bonker that means helping others who face situations like hers to express themselves. She has launched a nonprofit — Communication 4 All — specifically for that goal. She also plans to help educate the public about the millions affected by nonspeaking autism, including an estimated 30 percent of children with autism spectrum disorder who are either nonspeaking or minimally speaking.
Now that is putting words into action.
