Following the death of a nonbinary high school student in Oklahoma who was bullied and assaulted by their peers, advocates warn the same could happen in Maine.
Leaders of Maine nonprofits that support Maine’s LGBTQ+ community said it’s common for students to be bullied in school for their sexuality or gender expression. While some bullying is done by their peers, an increasing amount of vitriol has come from adults.
“There are absolutely Nex Benedicts here in Maine who are bullied on a day-to-day basis and are told to suck it up,” said Bre Kidman, executive director of MaineTransNet, referring to the Oklahoma teen who died earlier this month.
Kidman said MaineTransNet, a nonprofit that supports and advocates for Maine’s transgender community, create programs that build safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth, since they may not feel safe in their school, but “it’s not a replacement for having a life that’s free from day-to-day harm,” Kidman said.
MaineTransNet and other nonprofits also want to help schools stop or prevent bullying, but they usually only hear about it “after something has gone wrong,” Kidman said.
Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old from Owasso, Oklahoma, died Feb. 8 one day after they were beaten in the girls bathroom, according to the Associated Press. Benedict was brought to the hospital and released that day, but was rushed back the following day and later died.
Benedict’s cause of death hasn’t yet been determined, but Owasso police have said a preliminary autopsy revealed Benedict didn’t die from the trauma they sustained in the altercation, the Associated Press reported. The incident remains under investigation.
“This horrible incident in Oklahoma is complex and there’s still so much mystery around what happened, but we know Nex was likely bullied in school,” said Gia Drew, executive director of EqualityMaine. “It’s sad, but it could be here. It could absolutely be here.”
In EqualityMaine’s youth programming, Drew said she hears students’ experiences of being harassed or shunned by their peers or adults.
“It’s not everywhere, of course, but it has proliferated dramatically,” Drew said. “When we work with young people, we hear that they’re scared.”
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network’s nationwide survey of LGBTQ+ students in 2021 found nearly half those in Maine reported being the victim of verbal harassment.
Seven percent of Maine students, meanwhile, said they have been physically assaulted because of their sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression, according to the nonprofit, which fights to end the discrimination and bullying of LGBTQ+ students.
Maine law prohibits physical, emotional, cyber and other bullying on school grounds based on sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. School boards must also have anti-bullying policies and procedures in place, according to the Maine Department of Education.
Students in Maine are seemingly more tolerant of students nationwide, according to Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network’s national survey, which found three in four students reported being verbally harassed at school because of their sexual orientation or gender expression. Nearly 13 percent of LGBTQ+ students reported being physically assaulted.
While Kidman knows Maine students are bullied every day for their sexual orientation or gender identity, she has also seen students in some places becoming more accepting of their peers.
That progress, however, has come in tandem with an increase in hatred and political activism from adults “who have decided trans people shouldn’t exist,” Kidman said.
“We have a culture where a specific subset of adults have decided it’s OK to bully children, especially transgender children,” Kidman said. “No one is arguing that kids can’t be cruel too, but we have to acknowledge that adults doing the bullying is just as harmful, if not more so. Culturally, that vitriol is spreading at an alarming rate.”
Some of that hatred from adults appears when they advocate for policies that ostracize LGBTQ+ students. Other adults have bullied students by sharing photos of them online, Kidman said.
In October 2023, a 15-year-old from Freeport became the first transgender athlete to win a regional high school cross country championship in Maine, the Portland Press Herald reported. The news drew ire and insults from adults who argued she shouldn’t be allowed to compete against girls.
Last month, Gardiner students defended the district’s transgender student policy after several school board members received complaints from parents, according to the Kennebec Journal. The policy, which one board member called “insane,” requires school staff to use a person’s preferred name and pronouns and allows transgender and nonbinary students to use whatever bathroom or locker room best aligns with their gender identity, among other protections.
Earlier this month, Larry Lockman, an anti-LGBTQ+ activist and former state representative, hosted a community forum in Brewer to oppose a Brewer High School student using the bathroom that matches their gender identity, the Maine Beacon reported. Lockman then announced he’s pursuing a lawsuit that targets the rights of transgender Mainers.
The Maine Supreme Judicial Court ruled in 2014 that transgender students can use the bathroom that matches the gender they identify with.
Students notice behavior from students and adults that puts LGBTQ+ peoples’ safety at risk, regardless of where it happens, Kidman said, and it instills fear that the same could happen in their own community or school.
Drew said she felt Maine and the nation were becoming more accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, but things took a turn after the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states in 2015.
Since then, opposition to the LGBTQ+ community has come in the form of proposed legislation that aims to reduce their rights, the banishing of books with related topics from schools, and calls to bar transgender students from competing in sports as the gender they identify as.
Those efforts were only encouraged by state and national lawmakers who disparaged and discounted LGBTQ+ people, which empowered others to do the same, Drew said.
Of the nearly 450 proposed bills targeting LGBTQ+ rights the American Civil Liberties Union is tracking, two are in Maine and both would apply to transgender students.
One proposed bill seeks to prohibit transgender women from competing against women in school sports. The other proposed bill would require parental approval for public school employees to use a name or pronouns that don’t correspond with what is on a student’s birth certificate.
Despite bullying still being a common experience for LGBTQ+ students in Maine, Drew said there are signs of progress, perhaps the most telling of which can be found in the biannual Maine Integrated Youth Health Survey.
In the survey, students can anonymously note their sexual orientation and gender identity, and the rates of LGBTQ+ students have climbed in recent years.
In Penobscot County high schools, 5 percent of students stated they’re transgender in 2023 compared with just over 1 percent in 2017. The rate of students identifying as anything other than heterosexual also rose from 13.7 percent in 2017 to 22.4 percent in 2023.
This may be due to more students being aware and comfortable enough with their own identities to record it in a survey, perhaps in part because LGBTQ+ characters are increasingly being found in mainstream media, Drew said.
“I think that’s a sign of progress,” Drew said. “The big systems and institutions, like schools, are slower, and unfortunately young people are paying the price.”
